Dialogue focus

I wanted to do a bit of dialogue practice and wound up writing a neat little story. Enjoy, and I’m open to any feedback!

    The sun was setting, and the young man and the old man had the best seats in the house: the hood of the old man’s black 1969 Impala. The air was warm, dust motes drifted around lazily, and the town in the distance glimmered in the orange light. They were parked on a peninsular cliff overlooking the valley below. It was so picturesque that if you let your eyes relax everything seemed fuzzy and unreal.

    “It’s been a while since we could talk like this,” said the younger man.

    “Yep…” the other replied. 

    “I miss this place.”

    “Me too, Roon.” 

    They stared out at the vista before them. The silence was comfortable and familiar. They basked in the soft air and golden light. Rooney leaned back until he was lying on the hood of the car. “Ahh, I looove the feeling of the warm metal on my back…” He lay there, smiling.

    The older man looked over at him and smiled. He patted the car’s headlight. “She’s seen me through a hell of a lot, this old girl. Always a place I can go for some peace and quiet.”

    Rooney rolled his head to the side. “You gonna let me drive her?”

    “No,” was the other man’s swift reply.

    “Aww, you’re such a killjoy, Jay.”

    Jay gave a little chuckle. He probably would let the boy drive, in different circumstances. He scratched at his big gray beard and sank back into the cozy silence. Joy was soaking him through

    After a while, Rooney sat back up and said, “Hey, do you remember that arcade we went to for my birthday?”

    Jay stood up, laughed aloud, and responded, “Yeah! You wanted to play that House of the Dead or whatever–”

    “And you were so fricken scared!”

    “And, and I was terrified! I had nightmares for weeks, ya brat!”

    “You loved it though.”

    “I did, I did… Yeah I’d do that all over again, for sure.” A pause. “You know, I went back and played it again, after you left.”

    “Really?”

    “Ohh yeah, ah- I was in there every Friday for hours, grinding away at that game. Did it until I made it onto the high scores list!”

    “Wow! I never would have done that well!”

    “And then, wouldn’t you ah– Guess what I put in for the name. Four letters.”

    Rooney looked down at the car hood and squinted a little, thoughtfully drawing scribbles in the thin layer of dust. Then he looked up at Jay and tilted his head reproachfully. “Was it ‘butt’?

    “No! Haha, no, but that uh, that’ve been good… I put you, Roon.” He smiled and looked at his shoes bashfully.

    “…Really? Well why’d you go and do that, Jay? You should’ve commemorated your achievement!”

    “Eh, I was pretty over the game by then. I kept going because it reminded me of you. After I pretty much beat it, it just felt right to put your name in. Figured if I ever wanted to I could come back, see your name up there, and remember those days. I did, too, once or twice.”

    Rooney drew some circles on the hood and, after a minute or two, stood up and walked around the car to Jay, and put his arms around him. “You’re a… A sentimental sweetheart, you know?”

    “Yeah, I’ve been told that,” Jay said, hugging him back.

    They gave each other a stiff pat pat on the back and separated. Rooney walked over to the wooden fence guarding the edge of the cliff and leaned up against it with his arms crossed, his back to the gorgeous overlook. “How about that amusement park we went to every summer?”

    “Ohhh yeah, of course I remember that. That was a great place.”

    “Great place,” Rooney agreed. “I especially remember when mom and dad wouldn’t let you ride the rollercoaster.” He raised an eyebrow.

    Jay laughed, “And you, you weren’t having any of that! Haha. You told them we were going to get food while they watched the magic show, but we, we didn’t go get food, did we?”

    “No sir, I walked you right back up to that rollercoaster, and you were all, ‘wait, the hot dogs are that way!’ And I said, ‘we’re gonna ride that monster!’ Hehe, oh I remember that.”

    Jay was laughing hard. “You, you were a bad influence on me, haha! Ah… I’m so glad I had you around though. It was really… A piece of me went missing along with you.”

    Rooney smiled sadly. “Yeah, I’ll bet. I’m sorry, bro.”

    “Well, it wasn’t your fault. No, I never blamed you. I blamed that bastard that took you away from me.”

    “I know, I know. It’s hard to think about it, but…. He was sick, man. Look, I got over it. You can too. I’m not asking you to forgive him or anything, just… Know that… It’s okay. I’m… Gone. Have been for a long time, and that’s okay,” Rooney gave him a serene smile.

    Jay couldn’t bring himself to look at his older brother. He instead looked over his shoulder at the trees, blinking back tears and nodding. He stamped his foot in the dirt a little bit, swallowed, and choked out, “I know.”
    Rooney straightened up and walked over to Jay once more. He put his hand on the older man’s bearded chin and turned his head to be face to face with him. “Come on, brother, look at me. We haven’t been able to see each other’s faces in years.” 

    Jay subconsciously squirmed, but forced himself to maintain eye contact, letting a few tears spill forth. A smile elbowed its way onto his face and he reached up and clasped the boy’s head in both hands. “It’s… So damn good to see you again.”

    Rooney’s smile turned into an all-out grin and he closed his eyes, now shedding tears himself. “You too, man. You too.”

    They stayed like that for a minute, but then Rooney broke it off, affectionately shoving Jay away. “Bahh, alright enough of that, ya sad lump.” They both giggled. “…You ready to go?”

    “Yeah. I think I am, now.” He stood up straight and began to walk around to the driver’s side of the car.

    “Oh wait!” Rooney interrupted. “I’ve always wanted to do this!” He backed up a few steps and set his sights on the car hood, then started running right at it. Jay flinched when he realized what he was trying to do, but Rooney was a bit too spry as he leapt up and landed with his butt on the car hood and legs out to the front, sliding across the top of it. It went surprisingly well, but he didn’t make it all the way and fell off the front-left corner, tumbled to the ground and rolled once or twice.

    “Rooney!” Jay called, trotting over to him. “You alright?”

    Rooney sprang right back up and said, “Of course! We’re dead, dude, no pain here!” 

    Jay sighed and rolled his, then cracked up. “You idiot,” he said, ruffling his brother’s hair affectionately. 

    Rooney got up and, dusting himself off, said, “Ok, I’m really ready now. You really ready?”

    Jay nodded sincerely. “Let’s go.”

    They both started walking toward the driver’s side door and bumped into each other.
    “Still no,” Jay said. Rooney pouted and groaned. “But… Maybe. Later. We have all the time in the world, now.”